Saturday, December 18, 2010


The Lord's promptings are clear,

I ask, plead for more time as the pathway appears.

He says it is to late,

We have work to do, things to bring to pass.

I bow my head,

put my hand in His, eyes closed.

So many emotions flood

each time released by the embrace of His hug.

Others look at me,

thinking I am alone going blindly.

I KNOW He is there,

things aren't always as they appear.

HE knows my heart,

And that is the most important part.

HE knows my pleadings,

He is the one who needs me.

HE knows my worries,

He is the one urging me to hurry.

HE knows my strifes,

He is the one guiding my life.

HE knows my fear,

He is the one wiping away my tears.

I keep moving with Faith,

my prayers being my interface.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Hmmmm :) Want some news?

Oh my goodness :) So much to tell and I am not sure where to begin. I am normally a really detailed person, however I feel that you don't need all the details, but an update on my life is surely needed.

Mike and I have divorced. Not sure what else to say to that, except that it is for the best and my children and I have been blessed beyond our comprehension. it went really quickly, only 20 days, which is a record as far as I know. As many of you might know, we were separated 3 years ago for a few months. It has been a rough and good experience the last 3 years, but we just weren't ever able to completely repair things and he chose out. That is where all the blessings begin, on the day that I had to really make the choice of what to do, and tell him I was moving forward without looking back, something amazing happened.......

I met Steve :) Only the Lord could have placed this wonderful man in my life. We are like little kids and everything clicks. That first night we talked for 6 hours. (9 pm to 3 am) The next day we talked for 5 hours, and then text all day long, talk on the phone a few times after he gets off of work and then for a couple hours on video chat after the kids are in bed. Yes I still find time to clean my house and take care of kids, lol :)We figured out that after 3 weeks of talking, NOT including text messages and the 2 times we met in person, that we had been on 21 3 hour dates :) Then last weekend he was visiting, and did the math and figured out that everything in 7 weeks added up to be a good 2 year relationship... lol :) He lives in Colorado, so we are SO GRATEFUL for technology! (Kips song I love technology, our song:))

My parents love him, and heard wedding bells the first time we met. And if any of you know my dad, he is usually not that easy to impress, especially by a guy that is dating his daughter. He LOVES and adores my kids, and they love him. Jessa walks around all day asking " Where's Steve?" And when they are with him, they warm up to him, cuddle and play with him and he soaks in every second. They haven't felt so much love in a long time.

SO....... this brings me to something crazy.... we are engaged!!! I know it is crazy, and trust me I have had my doubts :( ( he is SO kind and patient and understanding... seriously he is a guy off of a romance movie/book in real life) However, I have had numerous confirmations by the Spirit that this is right. My mom always tells me, After the trial of your Faith cometh the blessings. I want to share this with you because of how blessed I truly am, and I know it.

We always comment on how this is a fairy tale, which is so amazing.

Love you all!

Oh and here is the ring :) hehehehe

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Fork in the Road

So many thoughts run through my head like thousands of car lights on a highway in the darkest of nights. It is amazing how something can be one thing one day, and another the next. Then you look back and see all of the little signs, wonders and hints that tell you, yes it was coming. And they are all those little things that you think to yourself, if I had paid better attention, then I would have been more prepared, I would have ... I would have .... I would have.

My thoughts and feelings seem so entangled at times that I am not sure what I am feeling or what I am thinking. Confusion sets in and makes you question every move, thought, word, feeling and emotion you expressed.

God lives. He loves us, He loves me. He prepares the way through the thick forest that is our life. Even though we feel blind and unable, we move forward. There may be a scratch from a branch, a log we step over, we might even fall from tripping on the uneven ground. However, the way is still cut out and as we follow it our eyes are opened and we will come to a clearing that is greater beyond our comprehension. This feeling of freedom from chaos around is a support to when we cross that clearing and continue our trek to the next one. As we move through the tight quarters, we can close our eyes and remember the freedom we once felt and the peace knowing that there is a place like that ahead.

I have felt disconnected from the Spirit as of late. My soul longs for that welling up inside when I pray, read my scriptures and move through my day. I am in a thick part of my forest, moving forward and remembering the clearing I was able to be in for a little while. Remembering the feeling of peace that I was doing good; good for me, my family and our relationship with God. I am holding on to the lessons learned from my previous trek, reminding myself to pick up my feet, move forward and let God guide me, not just follow Him.

Saturday, November 13, 2010


Savannah came to me a couple days ago and said that her tooth was loose. I couldn't feel it wiggle but I told her to keep working on it. Yesterday she had me feel it again and it is loose!! This is one of those terrifying yet exciting moments where your little one is growing older and you can't do anything about it.

Friday, April 9, 2010


Yes we are alive. Super busy:) Here is a little update -

Savannah is in soccer now, she loves it. Her first game is tomorrow and she is so psyched. Her coach told her she was aggressive and that made her beam.

Dechlin - Crazier everyday. Here is a conversation we had at Savannah's soccer practice:

Me: You can play on the playground while Savannah practices ok?
Dech: Ok...I am going to play with grils, they LOVE me.
Me: Oh they do?
Dech: Yes and they are going to KISS me
and then today he continued to tell us that grils are going to kiss him LOTs. In Michael's words, he thinks he already has game.

Jessa - FIRE kid. She has a major temper and when she is mad, the best thing to do is leave her alone. She especially gets irritated with Michael and will follow him around to yell at him to make sure she is understood. She is also super cute and makes me laugh when she yells. She LOVES to dance and sing. Any form of music she will start with a head bob and then follow with twirling, bouncing and bum shaking.

Michael and I are still doing school and busy with everyday mommy daddy things:)

I will post some pictures another day :)

Friday, January 29, 2010

Christmas 09

At the Christmas Eve party at my parents with a rabbit.
Savannah singing in with the Primary at the Ward Breakfast...
Dechlin......being Dechlin.....
Our First Gingerbread house...... this was the after picture. I think we need to hire new roofers.
This was the before picture. We were pretty proud until the roof fell. Better luck next year.

I was a ding and forgot to take pictures of us opening presents. I got it on video, so that is good:) Savannah and Dechlin got Bunk beds, the were SO very excited. Jessa got a bike and that is all she cared about. Didn't really want to focus on any other gifts. It was a really fun day. I LOVE seeing their faces light up and be so excited. We try to keep it small, and to keep the focus of excitement on giving each other presents and they loved every minute of it.

Happy Birthday to Michael...maybe....

For Michael's birthday, he got off early in the morning and went to renew his license. He found out that as of the first of January, there is a National database for the DMV. Meaning if your license has a hold on it in another state, it won't be valid here. Well, we totally forgot, but he still has a ticket in Montana from our wreck. That was such a hectic time, and you can't pay after so many days, and it completely slipped our minds. So, he couldn't get his license and we are hoping that we can take care of the ticket without him having to appear in court up there. I guess if we do, it will be a fun visit to some fam :)

So he was frustrated about that and things started to simmer, and we went to eat at Applebee's so he could have some steak. The waitress was dumb. She brought him water instead of Mountain Dew, for our Mozzerella sticks she brought one little cup not even half full of sauce, and his steak was over cooked. Then he couldn't find the debit card and we realized he left it in the ATM machine when he got cash to pay for the license he couldn't renew. Good thing we had the cash though :) I wanted to have people sing to him, but even before I said anything to him about it, he told me I would be in trouble if I did that.

I had been asking him what kind of cake he wanted for his birthday and he never really told me, plus this was a hectic week and with only having one car, we will say I didn't get to the store to get his cake. He says he doesn't care about his birthday, would rather not celebrate it, but that is connected to his "no worth" feelings I believe, and really likes it when I make a big deal about it. The kids were begging for ice cream, but they all have this little cough and Jessa was tired. So he wanted to just go home and forget everything. I wanted to sing to him. Anyway, I had my check book and we needed diapers, so I ran in to Wal-Mart, got him his favorite brownie and some candles and we came home and sang to him and I think the night ended pretty ok :)

Thursday, January 21, 2010

My makeup....

This is what I referred to earlier about Dechlin curious about what things look like SMEARED all over........
This time it was my make up.....thick and greasy.....he wasn't so happy I found him and was washing him...
He was very upset.....this is about halfway through.lots of olive oil, and half a bottle of shampoo(maybe less but it sure seemed like that much)
Trying to clean the evidence. My tub was disgusting and this picture does not do it justice. All in all it took me an hour, yep, an HOUR to clean this boys hair!!!! To all of you with little boys, enjoy and look forward to your moments like these. And to those of you who have older boys, I honor you. To my sister with FIVE of these, you are my hero. The never grow out of it, I guess that is what makes us love them so?
Posted by Picasa

Some Jessa

She decided she likes corn starch.....
I decided I don't like her liking corn starch
Do you think she likes noodles and tomato juice?
She was standing like that for the longest time waiting for me to take a I finally did :)
Posted by Picasa

Wednesday, January 20, 2010


So I probably got everyone excited for new posts(not) and I haven't done anything. So I will take a little bit to play a game of catch up, and if you make it through, imagine a plate of something yummy as a gift:)

Halloween: Awesome
Thanksgiving: Fantastic
Christmas: Amazing
New Years: Better than the above :)

Jessa is one and going nuts. She says, " Uh- Ohs" , " HI"(every time she turns a corner or enters a room) " HI Momma" , "ewwww" and "Ouch" Then she jibber jabbers all day, is picking up on hitting me if she is mad, yells at me and plays horses and puppies with Savannah and Dechlin. She will even 'Rear up on her hind legs :)

Dechlin: hmmmmm...what else do you say about a 2 1/2 year old boy besides AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!! That is because: 1) I love him so terribly much, 2) he so terribly cute, 3) he can act so terrible. This kid doesn't stop, loves to torture and tease, talks back and is still curious about products in tubes and what it looks like smeared EVERYWHERE ( such as toothpaste, hair gel and concealer) He comes into my bed every night because he needs to " lay down for me" I am now in the process of breaking him of the habit ( happened maybe 3 times actually) of need me to "lay down for him" in his bed before he goes to sleep. So he ends up staying up until 10 because he needs chips, cereal, toys....about 10 times each hour. Thinking about potty training this summer. Yes so he is outside when he has accidents :)

Savannah: How she never ceases to amaze me. This girl is 4 1/2. Could say the alphabet at 2 ( 27 months to be exact) Has taught herself to recognize letters, numbers, the phonics of the letters, how to write and now is teaching herself how to read. All I did was sing her the ABC's a few times a few summers ago:) She loves friends, cousins and animals. Is constantly telling me we need to move because our house is getting old ( it is 5 years old) and because we need 5 horses, 2 dogs, 2 cats, a pig.... and that is where I stop her. No pig. She is excited to go to school next year, thinking she will go to high school. She can't wait to drive, and talks about when she will be a mother.

Michael: Is amazing. Need I say more? He is on day 14 of being a non smoker and is doing really well. He goes to the gym a couple nights a week, watches the kids for me when I go to mutual on Wednesdays and my very much anticipated bunko night :) He is in his second semester of school. Totally aced his first semester and probably will do it again. He is so smart it sometimes makes me irritated, because I am not. He works hard, in downtown right now, so a very much shorter distance than Park City everyday. We see him more and that is awesome. He likes his job, however gets a hankering and looks for others. ( Or I do and show him, because...well that is a different story :) All in all, we are very thankful he has a job:)

Me: What to say.. hehe Well, our 6 year anniversary is on the 20th of Feb, so I am working out a little more intensely. However we are either going to celebrate early or later because I happen to have a wonderful monthly friend coming over on our weekend...bleh. I have started my second course through my herbal school. I love it!! Using this knowledge has kept me and my family out of the doctors and very healthy for 5 1/2 yrs. ( Minus 3 ER visits) I am still the 2nd counslor in Young Women's. It is an amazing experience, challenging, yet amazing. I have created a schedule for home and it is wonderful. I have so much free time and my house stays super clean. And I can be very flexible with it.

So there are pictures to go with some of the things I have posted, and they will come at a later date. No promises :)

Friday, January 8, 2010

Dangerous Pirates!!

The Captain
1st mate
The Dangerous
AAARRRGG! The Seas!!!! (as quoted by 'The Dangerous')

Whenever we have bean burritos, they get their knives and say they are going to eat like pirates.

There will be a few postings in the next few days, probably a couple a day in some cases, I am really behind so they will more than likely come in no particular order, forgive me, but please enjoy!!!
Posted by Picasa